Hey Indiana, we have a problem...

"And if you complain once more, you will meet an army of me"




On June 21st, 2011, I was 326 lbs.
As of January 13th, 2012, I am 269 lbs.

I have hit a rough patch the size of Indiana. I have excuses all over the place, but my lack of progress is my own doing. But I need to vent at this exact moment, SO-

A. I can't find a job. I have applied to several welding jobs but all I hear is how unqualified I am. I had a temp service call me up and say they had my resume, and we're wondering if I was still looking for a welding job. YUP! So I drive a half hour south to see them, create an online account, fill out online application, online skills and abilities worksheet, online personality quiz, and anything else I can possibly fill out online to save them some actual paperwork. After ALL of that. I had to redo every single effing thing... ON PAPER!! Anyway, they had my resume in hand and called me. After about hour and a half filling and refilling out info, they give me a drug screen, and finally the interview. It was a short interview. I didn't have the qualifications for any of their available jobs. Thanks for coming down though.
... What?
For the previous year, I was a prized welder on 2nd shift a steel mill. They needed three welders to replace me. So I applied at a steel mill here that was looking for 2nd shift welders. Not. Effing. Qualified.
WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???

B. Trying to go back to school, working on financial aid, they want a copy of my taxes to verify income. I got my loans out of default, and the school tells me I need a letter of good standing from the lender. OK. Lender says go to this page, print this off, it's exactly what you need. OK. I take it to the school. No, we need a actual letter stating that you are in good standing. NOT OK. I look at the sheet, then ask this says I am in repayment. Doesn't that mean good standing? She says no, that just means you are making payments on your loan (Really? Thanks for the clarification). I say check the NSLDS site, the site that told you I am in default, it will tell you I'm not on default. She says they can't check it (WTF?). I then reverify, 'But you will check to verify I am IN default though?' Yes. I was being sarcastic. So I call the lender. We repeat the entire conversation above, and walk back in to talk to them again. Him in one ear, we are both listening to her and he starts laughing on the phone about the situation. LAUGHING because there is nothing you can say to stupid. I managed to get over them to their director, she apologized and couldn't answer why the letter I had that showed I was in repayment wasn't clear enough for her staff. Well thank you for your help.
Just when I think all is clear, now I have to take ANOTHER copy of my taxes RE-VERIFY my income with the school.
WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???

C. I, for the first time in my life, have been kicked out of a restaurant. Why you might ask? Well allow me to present the conversation to you.
Server- Welcome to Black Sparrow, do you guys need food menus?
Me- No I think we know what we want.
S- Oh. Ok. What can I get you to drink?
M- Two diets please.
S- Can I see your ID's?
M- I'm sorry?
S- I need to see your ID's.
M- I actually left mine at home. Are you seriously ID'ing us for diet cokes?
S- If you don't have it you can't be here.
M- Are you kicking us out?
S- Yup.
WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???

I was walking across a parking lot road today. Three steps in a I hear a car speed up. I look to my left, and here comes a mom with her son in the passenger seat fly by, mirror less than two feet from me. Really, mom? REALLY???

The gas company will fire employees who walk into houses where dogs aren't confined in a cage or separate room. You're kidding right? No. No he wasn't. He was one foot off the porch talking to me to clarify for whoever (if anyone) was watching.

I was informed to join the Wabash Runners club or whatever it is called. Please someone, is that thing serious? It is a organized meeting point without a meeting time. They meet Saturday's. Some at 6, some at 8, others come at 10 or 12. What good does that do? I want to train with people, not gallop aimlessly through a morning probably by myself.

Went to get my license information switch to this state. I needed my old ID (got it), two proofs of current address (got one), insurance info(got it), registration and title(got them), to take a written exam(I'm sorry, come again?), around $200 for my plates (they could not produce an actual price for me) that would expire in June and another $20+ for my license. You know what? I'll keep my Ohio stuff going. It isn't worth the hassle for six months of living.

WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???
Except our landlords. They rock. Seriously. I will take them out to dinner before we evacuate this hole.
But this time I am not thinking what might be wrong with me this time? No. Not anymore.

For 28 years of my life, it has been a pledge in my heart to escape Ohio. Most of that 28 spent in Toledo, I thought the Midwest was in a terminal state. Flee to Texas, they are all about making money there. Jobs are bountiful. Or to the Atlantic or gulf coast for shipbuilding, the navy will always want ships. Anything that wasn't Ohio was good for me. Then we finally took that first step, out of Toledo and down to Columbus. Our goal was Austin TX. This was a good start.
Or was it?
Every day we were there, we felt more relaxed, more alive, more welcomed, and just happier.

A lot of you know, I am in no way a buckeye fan. I was happy to see their misery. In NW Ohio, I think the central Ohioans don't realize, there are some(and by some I mean ALOT) raging, blood thirsty, I would choose OSU over Christianity if the ultimatem arose and shoot Jesus if he didn't agree with me, crazy Buckeye fans (they shaped my dislike for the school as a child). If they ever declared an actual war, Michigan and Ohio State, to start at noon on the third Saturday in November, the war in NW Ohio would be over at midnight the night before, OSU fans would bathing in UM blood giggling like little schoolgirls.
This past week, I have constantly reintroducing myself in school, stating we moved here from Columbus OH. GIANT COLLECTIVE GROAN from each class.
Damn Purdon't Boilermakers.
So I come home and tell the wife about the collective groans from the classes and she ask why they did it.
Me- Purdon't is right down the street, and around here, they don't like our kind.
Her- 'Our kind'?
Me- Aw poopytrip.
Her- Was that a Freudian slip I just heard?
Me- ... Eff.
Well. There it is. I want to go back to Ohio. Badly. We no longer want Texas, or a coast. We want the heart of the heartland.
Guess I better get running. No, scratch that. Too cold and windy. P90X. Yeah buddy!

If you havent already, please visit /51pounds and like the page. The epic battle between the King and the Captain is about to heat up now that the holidays are over!

Corey King vs Stuart Kirk: 51 lb Punchout

Since leaving Columbus, some of my motivation has drained. I think. Or maybe winter is setting in and I am having trouble adjusting my workout. But, none the less, some things are meant to be.

I introduce to you Corey W. King.

Long time friend, growing comedian, Toledo radio personality, and suffering congestive heart failure, liver disease and had a heart attack early last year.

I recently became the very satisfied and proud owner of a iPhone 4S and was unaware of the damage to my contact list that was caused by leaving Android. I am missing a lot of numbers, and I have a lot of very old numbers for some people, including Corey.

We hadn't spoke in awhile, I had three numbers for him, and two email addresses, so I sent something to all of them to find out where he was. One was a land line, one said wrong number and the third... had a pretty choice message for me to deliver when I did find him.

So I took the easy way and message him through Facebook. Within moments he responded. We dispatched pleasantries, I relayed the watered down message to him, and broke into the weight loss discussion. After his heart attack, Corey's doctor informed him, as every well payed doctor should, "You should lose weight"(Thanks Doc! How much do I owe you?).

At 306 pounds, it wasn't a decision. It was fight. If he loses, he pays the ultimate price. If he wins, he gets the ultimate gift, a gift that most take for granted. One that he and I both took for granted.

As we continued texting, he asks me what my goal is, and before I can finish typing my response, he calls me.

Corey "So what is your goal?"

"200. You?"

C "220. How do you feel about putting money on it? First to make their goal? Maybe like $50"

"That could work. Any reason?"

C "I work harder when money is involved, and seeing as how I would have to borrow it from my girlfriend, I don't want to owe her money, I would definitely work harder."

"OK. Lets make it $100 then.?"

C "Ummm, OK."

"We need to set parameters? How about we play to 51 lbs since that's all you need?"

C "That works. No surgeries. Also I think the bet should be void if either of us lose a limb, kind of an unfair advantage if you have one less limb to account for."

"Yes. Good call. No supplements either"

C "Deal."

And so begins my revitalized journey.

As of June 21st, I was 326 lbs.

Today, December 3rd, I am 268 lbs.

So today I begin the 51 Pounds Punchout Challenge (click the link, like the page, go ahead and friend me while you are at it!). My goal is to win it by my fourth wedding anniversary on June 14th, 2012. 

See you at the finish line, Corey!

Kirk out.

Goodbye Columbus. Hello... Not... Columbus... I miss you already!

An pictoral Ode To Antrim(mostly) and Columbus will be displayed throughout this post.

As of June 21st, I was 326 lbs.

Today, November 9th, I am 272 lbs.

It's been a month since my last post, but it has been a hairy month since then. A huge staple to my progress, NoBo/MIT, the city of Columbus, and the amazing and helpful people, such as Chelsea, Susan and Tori, have been removed (hopefully temporarily). The Wife and I have moved to Lafayette In. and, while nice, it doesn't have the quality of life that Columbus does.

That's OK. My journey isn't about the city, it's about me

BUT this particular blog IS about the city.

Don't skip ahead, but right before I moved, the last picture in this blog was my last sunrise in Columbus, and a friend told me 'Don't worry. Indiana has sunrises too.' Dude... you're not a runner, you wouldn't understand a Antrim sunrise like a runner does. Just because Indiana has a sunrise, doesn't mean it will replace this work of majestic art. I am sure there are places in the world with similar sunrises, good for a runner's soul, but they take searching. Every Saturday Morning when I would I come off of the Olentangy Trail to the Antrim Loop, it was an indescribable, overwhelming feeling of fortune. 

And it is a weird event too, because I run in the sunlight before and after Antrim on the trail, but there is something different there. My first time there, the running coach with me was trying to explain the sunrise and gave up. She finished by saying,'It's hard to describe, you just have to see it for yourself'. She was spot on. These pictures don't often do it justice. You need to go there and experience it for yourself(click here)

Columbus was labeled the 5th fattest city in the United States in 2001, which brought about a new city slogan- Commit To Be Fit. The city lives it, breathes it and loves it. Somewhere, every week, there is probably 3-5 5K's taking place with thousands of people partaking in them. People are kind along the way as well. The city is encouraging biking throughout the city. Most main roads now carry at least a shared lane for bikers. In 2010, Columbus was rated th 19th fittest city in the US. In 2011 the Ohio State University was Ranked 1st among colleges and universities.

They say being healthy and fit is a choice, with which I agree. I am here to tell you it's a much easier choice when the majority of a city has decided it together.

I spoke in a previous blog about doing a half marathon, the date is set. May 5th, 2012, I will be among the over 12,500 runner's in the bicentennial Capital City Half Marathon. Also on my agenda looks like a visit to a Tough Mudder event in April.

I would like to share a video I saw today, one I hope to rewrite to my own flavor.

Meet Ben...

And finally, my last vision of Columbus (No, this was not photoshopped. Tis all natural).

A truly inspiring sight to run alongside. I will miss you, Antrim and Columbus

This Little Fire

I have a little fire inside me
This little fire started a while back, and it has turned into a inferno, 1906 Chicago style.
When I look into a mirror, this little fire finds another gas station.
When I stop running and realize my head just told my body to stop because old habits of laziness sneaked through, this little fire finds another lumber yard.
When I step onto the scale and I've killed a pound or two, this little fire finds another heavily wooded park.
When I step onto the scale and I've gained a pound or two, this little fire finds a national forest in the midst of a drought.
When you tell me I can't, this little fire finds you.
This little fire inside me is an wonderful feeling. There is nothing that can calm it, and it's exciting! To know that whatever you or I put in front of me will be destroyed and conquered in a short matter of time gives me a strange satisfaction before I even start, which lends me more energy to attack it.
The phrases above are not just inspirational statements, they are moments I have experienced.
I used to look into a mirror and it would upset me, wishing I would have done something when I was younger to prevent this from happening. Now when I look, my mind just starts revving up. Go for a run. Go start swinging. Go do something and do it now. Unfortunately, what I end up doing is going to work. I try to avoid the mirrors before working out because my energy is already jacked up, it doesn't need the boost and I'll end up over-exerting myself.
I have recently figured out I'm not REALLY warmed up for my runs til almost a mile and a half in, which is either when I get the right pace and go for the longest stretch of my run or break out into an all out sprint. The other night, at 1.55 miles I found my pace. My personal goal at the moment was to take this slight downgrade all the way to the two mile point, and I did. And I started walking. And there was Bjork; "You're alright. There's nothing wrong".
...
WHY DID I STOP??? I had no reason. I reached my goal but my body was still good to go. So I kept running, but now back up the hill. All in all it was about a .6 mile stretch, and it felt gooooood!
I probably don't need to share much on killing and gaining. When I have killed a pound, I want to kill another one. When I gain one, I want to kill that one, another and two more so it knows I'm not joking around this time.
And when you tell me I can't, I will call you Wayne, and show you why you are just as blind, afraid and maybe a little jealous.
This little fire inside me is an amazing feeling. There is nothing that can stop it, and it's exhilarating!

The Journey: Part II

Press play please. Enjoy the new anthem of my runs.

Wow. Just Wow.
Fifteen weeks.
Fifteen months ago, there was a complacency in my life that was starting to accept that I had tried to lose weight, and I had tried hard but I just couldn't do it. I was meant for this no matter how much I tried and wanted it to not be true. I saw a saying today that summed up my way of life as I look back on it; DO or DO NOT, there is no TRY. I can convince everyone all day long that I was trying, fact of the matter was, I wasn't doing.
On a short side note, I do have to hand out some credit in my period of DO NOT, Kettlebell Bob taught me one important thing that has insanely assisted me since I have started the period of DO. Endurance is between the ears, not below them. My first two weeks of kettlebells I wanted to end when said I couldn't do anymore, but he generally ended them when I dropped to the floor or in front of a waste basket. Another quote; Laziness is the habit of resting before you are tired. 
Most of my runs start with the same thought; Ugh. How am I gonna make it 2.5 miles, I struggling out of the parking lot.
Most of my runs end with the same thought; Well that was a stupid thought to have.
JUST DO!
Back to the point- Fifteen weeks
I finally decided on the demise of my former self and committed to a new way of living fifteen weeks ago.
I pulled a Forrest Gump and I just started running. And then I ran some more. And when I finished with that, I just decided to run back.
For my Toledo friends, and well I guess anyone else that can get access to Google Maps, (keep in mind I wasn't keeping track of mileage when I started running, that start three weeks in) I have roughly ran the distance FROM Comerica Park in Detroit TO The Great American Ball Park in Cincinatti (via I-75). Similarly for my Cleveland bro's and gals, Progressive Field to The GABP. Over 260 miles. Fifteen weeks.
Week Eight, I ran my first 5K in a time of 38:35.
Week Thirteen, I ran my first 10K in a time of 1:15:09.
Week Fourteen, I ran my second 5K in a time of 36:06.
I departed with the goal of murdering 126 pounds. Fifteen weeks, I am already more than a third of the way, about to break the 50 pound mark.
It's weird to think about, how long has this mental roadblock been keeping me down. I don't even know why, but now that I have conquered it I am looking down the road at the adventure I am creating, I am anxious. I am excited to look back at what I will have accomplished. I am hungry for new satisfaction, something video games, fantasy sports, sitting on my ass indoors can no longer provide.
I am going to complete the Warrior Dash. Will you come with me?
I am going to complete the Pelotonia 43 mile trek. Will you come with me?

I am lining up 5K's(First On The First, Dublin Irish Festival) and at least one quarter and one half marathon(Emerald City). Will you come with me?

I want to lead a group of my outdoor loving friends down a mud slide, through a lake, up a hill on bike and through a cold morning on foot. Will you come with me?
I want to look back at the end of next year at everything I have accomplished, and know I earned this. Will you share that feeling with me?

Thanks Wayne, but you shouldn't feed the animal.

A while back, I was sitting on the steps of the locker room at work. A co-worker, Wayne, sits down next to me and says "What's this I hear you're trying to lose weight?"

"What, you can't tell??"

"Aww, man, I just telling you what I heard. how much weight are you trying to lose?"

'Total, 126 lbs. That'll put me at 200."

He laughs.

"What's so funny?"

"Man, guys like you and me, we ain't meant to weigh 200."

What I am thinking- What the f*** is wrong with this person?! What I say- "Are you serial?"

"Yeah, man. I'm sayin, we ain't got the bone structure for 200, we're too big."

"Sooooo.... Are you saying I won't make 200?"

"Well, yeah. We just ain't meant for it."

"I hope I know you in a year, bud."

Wayne is about 10 or so years older than me and is from Alabama. I am not sure which of those two facts play more into the conversation we had, but I am sure both had alot of influence.

Thanks Wayne, but please don't feed the animal.
So Wayne comes up to me recently and asks "How much weight have you lost, man?".
I tell him "Around 37 lbs".
"Hmmm... that's not good man. You're losing it too fast. You better be careful, you might end up anorexic or something!".
"First of all, why are you always naysaying on me? B, I've been at this for 12 weeks and lost around two pounds a week except for the first couple weeks when I lost like 15. And then just how am I gonna become anorexic???".
"Well, I'm just sayin, you know, you lose too much weight, you might become it cause you get so focused on not eating, and it just happens".
"Let me tell you about my eating, ok? Yesterday I had a grilled ham egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast, today a cereal bar and a banana. For lunch yesterday I had a BBQ chicken pizza and today a double cheeseburger without a bun. Every night I have a ham and pastrami wrap and ramen noodles for dinner, and a apple, grapes, banana for snacks. Do I sound anorexic?"
"Hey man, I'm just trying to look out for you, that's all. I'm just sayin every now and then you need to cheat a little."
"...Yeah?"
"Yeah, man. Just a little."
So I did. I think deep down to prove a point, or maybe just maybe, because I borrowed Tori H's car and we hadn't really hung out outside of our weekly pavement thumping. B-Dub's here I come!
Had some naked hot wings, couple of Bud Light's, and a shared... TUB of nacho's. They were ridiculously huge. When I weighed in on Friday, I had gained three pounds back and let Wayne know how cheating went and let him know how much cheating will be in my future. He had nothing to say, just shook his head and walked away.
Tightened the reigns, got back on the horse, focus, focus, FOCUS!
Now I know full well those three pounds probably came from the fact the food hadn't fully cleared my system yet. Whatever, I recovered in a furious fashion. The following Friday I see Wayne just standing there in the locker room, I walk up and say "Didn't cheat. Stuck to the plan. Lost 8 pounds." and walked away.
Thanks Wayne, but you shouldn't feed the animal.

The Journey: Part I

Eight weeks ago, I embarked on a "epic journey of epicosity" with my friend Tori and a group called No Boundaries (NoBo).

The NoBo group consists of about 18 people all taking their first steps towards becoming active and healthier. We train for 5K's. There is a second, much larger group called the Marathoners In Training, or MIT. They are training for 10K's, half and full marathons. This group is probably close to 200 or so people, alot of which started in NoBo. They know what we are doing, going through and striving for.
NoBo was already a month in when we joined, so we, moreso me than Tori, had some catching up to do. They were running for 2:20 and walking for :40. I on the other hand was starting at :45 and 1:45.
To start, I was trying everyday to get out and run, waking up a little earlier to walk the dogs, trying to run a little farther, wearing myself out a little faster.
July 17th. It's around this time that I decided what my goal will be for the 5K. I was up to :55/1:35. At the pace I am increasing, I think I could do this race in under 40 minutes.
Then the heat and humidity struck. I can't run in this, so I missed a couple days. Then I tried going at night, and that felt much better the first couple nights. But now I'm up a little later, with all that other stuff.
I came across an article on SparkPeople on The Habits Of Fit People: Listen To Your Body. Turns out everyday is not the best way, which I knew to be true for strength training, but running didn't seem like something that would require the same rest phase. So I tried it out, and my runs got better. Found myself saying why not five more seconds, I'm recovering quicker and lasting longer. Things are looking good if I may say so.
August 6th. Final NoBo training run. No Tori this week. I get there and it's not the normal huge crowd but I can still hear them somewhere. I walk up to someone and ask what's going on, just as Jeff Henderson, the NoBo and MIT organizer, came across the loud speakers in the Thomas Worthington HS football stadium.
MIT was in the stands. NoBo was on the track. I start running down to join them for whatever mysterious fate lies ahead.

"12 weeks ago, these people took the first step towards changing their lives, and we are here today to recognize that accomplishment" The MIT-ers cheer. We were given shirts and jackets.
It has been an amazing thing to be apart of. The sporadic bits of encouragement thrown out by the MIT-er's going in the opposite direction, rewarding feeling be greeted by people you don't know upon return for just being out here, the chocolate milk from Snowville Creamery, everything.
But now its the final week. I just increased my time 1:05/1:25. I'm pulling around a 15min/mi. I decide to adjust my goals, under 40 is gonna be a huge letdown. At this point I am begging to break the 15min/mi point.
The night of August 10th, one of the two apps active on my phone while I run, RunKeeper and Doubletwist, are not playing nice with each other and resetting my phone when it goes dark, so since then I have been without my interval trainer. Who knew that would be a good thing? The run that night turned out to be one of my fastest runs to date, posting 2.43 miles in 38 minutes, partially due to a surprise all out sprint near the end of it. I don't know what happened but it felt really good to open up like that.
August 12th, Tori and I embarked from TWHS, and made it to Antrim much faster than our(my) usual, but not without a struggle. Legs were stiff, knees were achy, feet were flat, hamstring in my right leg was telling me I may be in for a rude awakening. Saturday was not looking good.
August 13th. 2011 Pancreatic Cancer Purple Stride 5K. Kinda chilly and a little bit of rain, just how I like it. You know me, if it ain't rainin... Just let me finish under 45, that's all I want.
Tori and I take off. Long first run for me, but somehow we ended up in the middle of the full run group, and I'm a little afraid if I stop, I'll be that one that starts the epic crash and 20-30 people will be piled on top of each other before anyone knows what happened. Eventually I drift to the side and let the masses pass us. Then two girls from the MIT group pass us, with words of encouragement, then two from NoBo. Ok I'm ready, we pass them, need a break, they pass us. I tell Tori not to worry about me, go if she wants to, and she does. She ends up sandwiched right between the two pairs. I eventually catch up as the NoBo pair decide to pass. Tori says to me "I'm drafting! These two are perfect to run behind" and they laughed about it... but they were. So we drafted, but I don't yet have that endurance and neither did two girls from NoBo, so when Tori and the MIT pair passed them up I dropped back. I drafted these two and it worked quite well from mile 1 to 2. After mile 2 though, oh buddy, the sun and humidity just exploded, I started drifting back from the girls. I'm getting a bit tired. I need something to get back in.
Bjork!
I was gone! I passed them. I passed a few others, I'm thinking at this pace I should get in close to my 45 min goal if not a little over.
I run under a train and come to a break in the trees and get a beautiful view of the Downtown Columbus skyline, right as 7'100" Jeff comes strolling by on his bike, checking in on people. We both stop for the quick photo opportunity, I tried drafting him on his bike, didn't work so well.

The final curve, then up the hill to the finish line. Why uphill? A crowd of people sit along the finish line cheering and clapping for thsose coming in. That clock can't be right. There's no way that clock is WHERE IS THE WATER??? Why is there no water at the finish line? It's all across the field? WHY???
I got my water, stretched, and went to talk to Jeff.
"When can we find out our times?"
"Right now... 38:25. Good job man! How do you feel?"
I looked at my hands, they were shaking. I looked at him and said "I was aiming for 45min."
"Holy crap, you beat your goal by over six minutes! That is awesome!!!"
It is. I wanted to cry about it, talk bout it, wonder about it. I just... Don't know what to say, how to feel. The overwhelming sense of accomplishment was more than I expected.
I posted a quote the other day- "Don't forget to smile, and put your arms up in the air to celebrate when you've crossed the finish line - You've earned it"
38:25.
I did it!