Thursday, October 6, 2011

This Little Fire

I have a little fire inside me
This little fire started a while back, and it has turned into a inferno, 1906 Chicago style.
When I look into a mirror, this little fire finds another gas station.
When I stop running and realize my head just told my body to stop because old habits of laziness sneaked through, this little fire finds another lumber yard.
When I step onto the scale and I've killed a pound or two, this little fire finds another heavily wooded park.
When I step onto the scale and I've gained a pound or two, this little fire finds a national forest in the midst of a drought.
When you tell me I can't, this little fire finds you.
This little fire inside me is an wonderful feeling. There is nothing that can calm it, and it's exciting! To know that whatever you or I put in front of me will be destroyed and conquered in a short matter of time gives me a strange satisfaction before I even start, which lends me more energy to attack it.
The phrases above are not just inspirational statements, they are moments I have experienced.
I used to look into a mirror and it would upset me, wishing I would have done something when I was younger to prevent this from happening. Now when I look, my mind just starts revving up. Go for a run. Go start swinging. Go do something and do it now. Unfortunately, what I end up doing is going to work. I try to avoid the mirrors before working out because my energy is already jacked up, it doesn't need the boost and I'll end up over-exerting myself.
I have recently figured out I'm not REALLY warmed up for my runs til almost a mile and a half in, which is either when I get the right pace and go for the longest stretch of my run or break out into an all out sprint. The other night, at 1.55 miles I found my pace. My personal goal at the moment was to take this slight downgrade all the way to the two mile point, and I did. And I started walking. And there was Bjork; "You're alright. There's nothing wrong".
...
WHY DID I STOP??? I had no reason. I reached my goal but my body was still good to go. So I kept running, but now back up the hill. All in all it was about a .6 mile stretch, and it felt gooooood!
I probably don't need to share much on killing and gaining. When I have killed a pound, I want to kill another one. When I gain one, I want to kill that one, another and two more so it knows I'm not joking around this time.
And when you tell me I can't, I will call you Wayne, and show you why you are just as blind, afraid and maybe a little jealous.
This little fire inside me is an amazing feeling. There is nothing that can stop it, and it's exhilarating!